Author Archives: Alex Leach

Shame

The most powerful emotion in the human experience is not anger, fear, or joy: its shame.  Shame is the feeling associated with beliefs that I am wrong, broken, or bad.  Physically, shame may feel like a “cold sweat,” or “can’t breathe,” or “nauseous.”  We often have language that tries to  Read more »

November 13, 2017Permalink

Using NVC In the Workplace

The workplace is rife with conflict, and yet it is an environment that is not conducive to expressing feelings and needs.  Rather than being a place where people are treated with empathy and collaboration, it is a place where we are treated with competition, efficiency, and task driven rather than  Read more »

October 24, 2017Permalink

The Stories in Our Heads

Humans are storytelling beings.  The way we make meaning of the world is by telling stories.  We see this on the large cultural scale with things like religion, science, and philosophy.  But we do this on an individual scale as well.  We tell stories like “Bob is a mean jerk  Read more »

October 11, 2017Permalink

Dangers of Digital Communication

Technology makes communication harder.  I know in a lot of ways technology helps us stay in touch with old friends, or stay connected to family that live elsewhere, or it gives us time to reflect and edit how we communicate.  But in terms of talking about difficult topics, in terms  Read more »

September 28, 2017Permalink

Control: The Self-Defeating Myth

Many of us wish we could have more control over our lives.  I know I do.  I do all sorts of things that help me maintain the illusion that I am in control. And then something happens that shatters that illusion.  A hurricane hits.  We get laid off.  We get  Read more »

September 11, 2017Permalink

Responding to Hate with Love

I am seeing a lot of hatred of the other in the world right now.  The events in Charlottesville and Barcelona are clear examples of people exposing hatred towards others, so much hatred of the other that it even leads to violence and murder.  And, like a chain reaction, spilling  Read more »

August 23, 2017Permalink

Soothing Our Fear

Fear comes in all kinds of forms.  There’s anxiety, dread, scared, panicked, worried, suspicious, and mistrustful.  All of these are different nuances to the one core experience of fear.  Fear is so powerful that subtly it drives a lot of our culture, our social behavior, and our personal decisions about  Read more »

July 25, 2017Permalink

Boundaries: Essential to Happy Relationships

Boundaries are essential to happy relationships.  That may seem counter-intuitive.  “Aren’t happy couples always spending time together and sharing everything, and doing whatever will make their partner happy?”  No.  In fact, that previous sentence ought to send you screaming to the hills!  For two people to really be happy in  Read more »

July 10, 2017Permalink

Forgiving

There is no way to move through the world, in a healthy way, that can completely avoid hurting others or being hurt by others.  Anything short of becoming a hermit or being completely co-dependent means that we will do or say something which will hurt other people’s feelings, and vice  Read more »

June 26, 2017Permalink

Befriending Our Inner Critic

Most of us have an inner critic.  That’s the voice in your head that says you’re doing it wrong, or even that you’re not enough.  It’s the incessant thoughts about the flaws or mistakes in something you’ve done.  Your inner critic is the internal monologue you have that leaves you  Read more »

June 6, 2017Permalink
Free Practice Group

Twice a month I lead a free Compassionate Communication Practice Group. Open to those new and advanced students. We meet on the First and Third Monday of the month at 6 pm. We gather at 640 Hawthorn Lane in classroom 8. Classrooms are behind the church and to the left, next to the parking lot. Practice Group sessions usually run for 2 hours.

The next one will be on July 6th at 6 pm.