Author Archives: Alex Leach

Feelings: The Language of Connection

Time and time again, the most powerful shift in couples I coach happens when they start expressing their feelings to one another.  Our emotions are truly the language of connection.  And so it is tragic that we in the West have mostly been cut off from our feelings. Emotions are  Read more »

June 27, 2016Permalink

Needs: The Signposts of the Soul

We all have needs.  And those needs go far beyond just air, food, water, and shelter. We need love, warmth, acceptance, community, friendship, honesty, respect, connection, and the list goes on and on and on.  The Center for Nonviolent Communication has created a wonderful list of potential needs.  This list  Read more »

May 29, 2016Permalink

Navigating the Intimacy Paradox

Intimacy is a paradox. We both crave it, and hate it. Richard Rohr, in his book Immortal Diamond clearly and succinctly summarizes this paradox:  “intimacy happens when we reveal and expose our insides, and this is always scary.  One never knows if the other can receive what is exposed, will  Read more »

May 2, 2016Permalink

“Well, I Didn’t Mean It Like That…”

“Well, I didn’t mean it like that…” Sometimes you, and I, try to apologize for the impact our words have on others by trying to explain the intention behind them. Certainly sometimes explaining our intention is helpful in terms of clearing up a misunderstanding.  But have you ever tried to  Read more »

April 18, 2016Permalink

What Surrounds You Shapes You

I saw this powerful PSA on Facebook the other day: Powerful, right? It’s true, children are sponges.  Whatever their parents (& peers) say and do, they absorb it and it shapes how they act.  And those models stay there for a long time. I am not a parent, and so  Read more »

April 4, 2016Permalink

Observing Yourself

In Compassionate Communication there are five major skills.  One of them is called “observation”.  At first, I thought this skill was all about noticing and talking about what you literally see.  So instead of “this room is a mess” saying “I see a couple of dirty dishes on the table,  Read more »

March 20, 2016Permalink

The Limits of Communication…And What You Can Do About Them

Some people come to my workshops, and say:  “Hey, this stuff is great, but doesn’t this stuff only work as long as the other person is also willing to communicate with compassion and honesty?” And my answer is always something like: “Yeah…sorta.  But even if the other person doesn’t want  Read more »

February 21, 2016Permalink

Blaming

I want to share this fun cartoon of a small snippet of a Brene Brown talk.  The cartoon is about blaming.  Blaming is pointing the finger and identifying who or what is responsible when something goes wrong. Blaming is an attractive activity.  If I can figure out who or what  Read more »

February 6, 2016Permalink

Understanding Privilege

I have been born with a tremendous amount of privilege.  I am a straight white male, who grew up in an upper middle-class, Christian home.  All of these different accidental properties of my identity and upbringing carry with them unearned advantages.  These unearned advantages are called “privilege”.  I do not  Read more »

January 25, 2016Permalink

Empathizing with Your Shadow Side

We all have a shadow side.  A side of you that you don’t want others to see or notice.  I know I have a shadow side.  There are opinions, feelings, and parts of my personality which I don’t want other people to see.  And it’s not just that I don’t  Read more »

January 4, 2016Permalink
Free Practice Group

Twice a month I lead a free Compassionate Communication Practice Group. Open to those new and advanced students. We meet on the First and Third Monday of the month at 6 pm. We gather at 640 Hawthorn Lane in classroom 8. Classrooms are behind the church and to the left, next to the parking lot. Practice Group sessions usually run for 2 hours.

The next one will be on July 6th at 6 pm.