Category Archives: Uncategorized

Being Responsible for Our Feelings

It is easy to blame other people for our emotions.  “He makes me so angry!  Why can’t he just pick up his shoes from the walkway!”  “She disappointed me; I thought she was going to be more understanding.”  When we say these kinds of things, then we don’t have to  Read more »

March 5, 2018Permalink

Reflective Listening

Almost every time I introduce reflective listening to couples, they groan.  “Why do I need to repeat back to my partner what they just said??  It’s so, patronizing/cumbersome/annoying.”  And yet, at least 50% of the time when I get them to try it out, that same partner cannot actually repeat  Read more »

February 5, 2018Permalink

Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr.

“1963 is not an end, but a beginning…” Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  It is a day we celebrate this man’s legacy.  It is said that when Marshall Rosenberg was developing Nonviolent Communication he based his system of communication on how nonviolent leaders such as Martin Luther King  Read more »

January 15, 2018Permalink

What’s Behind that New Year’s Resolution?

If you are someone who makes New Year’s resolutions, New Year’s intentions, I invite you to ponder what lies behind that resolution? Let’s take a really common example…”my new year’s resolution is to lose 10, 20, 30, etc pounds.” For some people I am sure that what lies behind that  Read more »

January 3, 2018Permalink

Giving Thanks

For many of us today, it is too easy to fall into despair, dejection, and pessimism.  Whether it’s the current political climate, struggles with work, or stress with family around the holidays, we can find ourselves focusing our attention on all that is wrong.  And when I let myself do  Read more »

November 29, 2017Permalink


The most powerful emotion in the human experience is not anger, fear, or joy: its shame.  Shame is the feeling associated with beliefs that I am wrong, broken, or bad.  Physically, shame may feel like a “cold sweat,” or “can’t breathe,” or “nauseous.”  We often have language that tries to  Read more »

November 13, 2017Permalink

Using NVC In the Workplace

The workplace is rife with conflict, and yet it is an environment that is not conducive to expressing feelings and needs.  Rather than being a place where people are treated with empathy and collaboration, it is a place where we are treated with competition, efficiency, and task driven rather than  Read more »

October 24, 2017Permalink

The Stories in Our Heads

Humans are storytelling beings.  The way we make meaning of the world is by telling stories.  We see this on the large cultural scale with things like religion, science, and philosophy.  But we do this on an individual scale as well.  We tell stories like “Bob is a mean jerk  Read more »

October 11, 2017Permalink

Dangers of Digital Communication

Technology makes communication harder.  I know in a lot of ways technology helps us stay in touch with old friends, or stay connected to family that live elsewhere, or it gives us time to reflect and edit how we communicate.  But in terms of talking about difficult topics, in terms  Read more »

September 28, 2017Permalink

Control: The Self-Defeating Myth

Many of us wish we could have more control over our lives.  I know I do.  I do all sorts of things that help me maintain the illusion that I am in control. And then something happens that shatters that illusion.  A hurricane hits.  We get laid off.  We get  Read more »

September 11, 2017Permalink
Free Practice Group

Twice a month I lead a free Compassionate Communication Practice Group. Open to those new and advanced students. We meet on the First and Third Monday of the month at 6 pm. We gather at 640 Hawthorn Lane in classroom 8. Classrooms are behind the church and to the left, next to the parking lot. Practice Group sessions usually run for 2 hours.

The next one will be on July 6th at 6 pm.